brief candle life

I have been stressed more than usual lately. I developed an eye twitch that finally went away in the serotonin release of having completed a kick ass dinner that I was making a giant batch of for my own family and the family down the street that had a baby recently. We delivered it welcome wagon style, with the food literally wrapped in a blanket next to Raiden in the red flyer wagon and we all went down there and dropped it off.

My involvements include:
1- the kids !!!!!! !!! !!!! you know how many exclamation points a 2 and 5 year old deserve. Raiden is so full of mischief! Spilling, falling, breaking, hitting, poopin, running off

2 - the house. dishes and general putting away of things and daydreaming about cleaning the bathrooms though never actually getting to that

3- Christmas: the shipping to my parents/sis/grandma, the buying for the in laws, kids, and husband, the driving to all the stores and places, finding/researching/remembering the coupons

4- my poetry book coming out. needing to design my website. needing to post a blog. needing to order printed swag from Vista prints (they have free biz cards, posters, etc), needing to call the giant list of book store contacts to set up a book tour in january (only have one scheduled so far), needing to set up a blog tour (a tour of other bloggers where I'm a guest interviewee on their blog)

5- web design work for 5 different websites. some ongoing, some incoming, some long overdue and not started yet

6- keeping up with the Huge Wonder baby tshirt biz; the driving to stores, the inventory, the web orders coming in, shipping them, delivering them, picking up checks and depositing them, printing tags, tagging and organizing a hundred onesies and tees, Tweeting and other social media-ing about the holiday promotions, prepping a selection for neighbor's kid's school's holiday fair booth.

7 - finances, moving money between accounts (biz & personal, making sure there's enough room for purchasing and paying bills

8- groceries, food, feeding the family, and fulfilling the two "new baby" families I signed up for bringing food to (my giving back for the season)

9- working at the preschool, all the parties this week, putting together gifts for my fellow teachers, for the secret santa recipient, and for my class kids, the lesson plans, the lunches for my kids & self, the meeting

are you crying yet? cuz I sure almost am

10- paving a path in my office/guest room so that the table and shipping/wrapping supplies are accessible

11- keeping in active touch with in-laws in regards to mother in laws recent cancer scare, surgery, recovery, and Benign on all counts diagnosis (whew!) This raised an incredible amount of stress in me Thursday and today, when the surgery & results all happened. My mom is a cancer survivor and being thrust in to that world again had a sudden explosive stress effect.

I think that's it. Please tell me I win. Or something. I must now tackle the kitchen because I used every single pot, pan, utensil and dish to make this dinner earlier and now I have to pay for it. But then I get to watch tv. sweet, sweet, tv and maybe more sugar, and then finally sleep. that is, until the 2 year old needs to nurse again.

1. Deodorant.
Having a baby and nursing causes lots of new hormones to circulate, which leads your body to emit odors differently. Whereas before my pits were quite satisfied with the Crystal Stick, Tom's, or other natural slather, having a baby caused me to immediately smell like a goat. A very dirty, sleep deprived goat. So despite my suspicion that zinc aluminum plutonium based major brand deodorants are the cause of breast cancer, I absolutely have to have one of those on the occasion when I want to smell fresh. Even now, 18 months into this nursing thing, and especially in Austin's 100 degree summers, I need the heavy duty protection. So I revert to my old high school standard, Secret. I'm a sucker for their scents. The past few months I've been into Vanilla Chai, so I can smell drinkable. Now I've switched to something coconutty to remind me of summer sun.

2. Diapers.
I cloth diaper. This set of fuzzi bunz has lasted 2 children! They are amazingly long lasting, considering they've been washed about every other day on hot for 3-4 years now. However, it takes an incredible amount of stuffing to make one of those suitable for night. With my 24/7 milk cafe this means one diaper needs to last through the night. I finally conceded to the use of one disposable diaper a day for nighttime use. It's nice to have them as backup in case I run out during a wash cycle, too.

3. Shredded Cheese & String Cheese
Two favorite kids snacks. Dh is a big fan of string cheese. I need to use the shredded cheddar for my potato leek quiche that I'll be baking sometime soon.

4. Toothpaste
Just the adult one this time. We got these suction cup things to hold our toothpastes away from little reaching hands, since there's enough industrial byproduct waste (aka fluoride) in there to kill a child. It's true! Read the fine print! We have a low fluoride version for the 4.5 yo who knows how to spit, and the training fluoride-free one for the 18 month old who likes to spit equally as much as getting the cap off of his and downright sucking on it.

5. Sparkly stickers and pepperidge farm goldfish
Cuz you can't get through a store like Target without the kids getting a "present". The ingenious (for Target) dollar section at the front of the store ensures instant good behavior bribery for the whole trip. Whining? We'll take that toy away! Coveting? Ah, but you already got a present! Bored? Play with your new present! and etc...

and
6. Soap
Dh has been whingeing about the lack of normal soap in the house so much that the 4.5 yo started emulating him; this soap is too goopy mama. I must admit, the heat and constant kid use has rendered my usually yummy natural handmade soaps into squishy goo lumps. Some with exfoliating coffee grounds, oats, or patchouli, all of which are unacceptable to dh. The local grocery store sells no such thing as scent-free regular white soap and so I hadn't expanded my search yet. Target delivered with a jumbo pack of Dial White. My man does not want to smell spring fresh or jocky or sporty or brawny, mountainy, or irish. "White" it is.